Posts tagged friends
Posts tagged friends
its so difficult……………..
she really did this guys.
and right in front of me.
and then blogged about it.
and then I found it.
and now I’m blogging about it.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME i’m seriously standing right over your shoulder and you’re going to reblog this?” - Teresa (remrazz)
yes, yes I am.
very rambling
This makes me sad. Not really all that sad, because I crashed my friends’ math class, ordered pizza to the room and watched Easy A. But slightly sad.
Can someone please add more cute boys to my school? Or, alternately, more boys without girlfriends to my friend group? Seriously. I’m not a whore, I don’t want a boyfriend, I don’t really want to date anyone right now, but I’m sick of getting lectures on how I’m “inappropriately flirting” with my best guy friends. Either give me someone to goof of with who I would actually be flirting with, or give me more guys who I can goof of with without being accused of flirting.
With my best friend(s) and my recently-ex-boyfriend. No, this won’t be awkward at all.
They say that writing makes it better, and sharing makes it better, so I guess I’ll do both at the same time. Honestly, though, I don’t know what to say.
Writing to the anonymous world, as always, I want it to know that I love you always and will miss you terribly until you get back. You are my best friend and that won’t change.
But I also want it to know what you have put me through. However much blind you are to it at the moment, someday you damn well better face this. And you know the worst part? I can’t even be angry at you. You have forced me to sit here and deal with my anger, my guilt, my pain and my frustration while you went spinning off into a world of your own and I can’t even be mad at you for it. Do you have any idea what that’s like? No, of course you don’t.
Quite honestly, I’m glad you’re getting help, more than I am sad that it’s so far away. Get out, get better and when you’re my old friend again, come back.
It’s confusing, but while I’ll miss you terribly I’m happy you’re going.
Yours always,
With love and anger,
C.A.S.
Today, my self confidence has disintegrated to a small pile of moldy crumbs, my self image is some disgusting whale who ought to wear a bag over her head in public, I can’t support one of my best friends or stop her from hurting herself, my family is half shattered and falling apart and I have lousy grades.
Yeah, it’s been just great.
And you know what the tipping point for me was? Discovering that I’m not just a Large, or and X-large, but an XX-Large in shirts (which are still pretty tight on me). What the hell. Did the world shrink? Or did my body just catch up to my mind’s image of how disgusting I am? Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a “positive image” of yourself while knowing that many people consider you fat, frumpy and ugly?
Talk about shit I don’t need right now.
I could do my homework, or I could go to robotics, or I could do all the chores I have, or I could see my friends, or I could have free time. Help! I need a day-extender.
That pretty much sums up my day today.
